I am going to be honest with you. This revelation is not groundbreaking, creative, or very forward thinking. It is so simple that you might be saying "I already do that every day." If you do, then kudos to you! For those of you in the same spot as me, here we go...
Quality, alone time with my spouse is sometimes the most difficult thing to find. We try to have lunch together every day, but it is difficult to turn off the office drama and talk about things other than work or the kids. On the nights that he has rehearsals, we have a rushed dinner at home amidst the craziness I like to refer to as "the witching hour" (more like hours). He is usually out the door about an hour after I get home; leaving me to carry on with my established mommy/kids evening routine.
By the time the kids are fed, bathed, tucked in, kitchen cleaned, toys picked up, and another load or two of the never-ending mountain of laundry washed, I am ready to crash. If I am not completely exhausted, I will indulge in one of the shows I DVRed from 3 weeks ago. Most nights I am so brain dead that I crawl into bed not long after the babes are asleep. My preschooler has the ability to instantly memorize any song she hears and most nights she graces us with a full on hour or two production from the comfort of her bed. Not easy to relax to the sounds of "little bunny foo foo" over the baby monitor.
When dear hubby is home for an evening, we are able to divide and conquer. We try to throw in family game night for a little fun quality time. Nothing like a rousing round of Hi Ho Cherry-O or Candyland right before bed. Actually, in all honesty, we love playing games with the munchkin. After the kids are down, we commonly find ourselves stuck in our individual ruts. By the time we finally remember we are both home, I'm already half asleep or 3/4 of the way through a show that I don't want to turn off. So I have decided to implement date nights every night.
Instead of focusing on chores, emails or the unending fun of bill paying, we will have a date. Just sitting down each night for a little uninterrupted spouse time. On nights where we have done this, I am able to deepen my connection with my spouse and learn new things about each other and our relationship. After 8.5 years of marriage it is safe to say that we have changed quite a bit as a couple, individuals, and as parents. We are long overdue to further explore these new aspects of ourselves.
Knowing our tendency to forget about the importance of these dates, I've decided to set a few rules. They are common sense so don't expect anything wild!
1) Date night EVERY night. Ideally, our date will be at least 30 minutes.
2) If things have been unusually crazy and we are short on time, we can do chores together instead of our normal division of labor. We will still carve out a few minutes of together time.
3) Read and discuss a book together. In all of our years of being together, we have never done this.
4) Read our Bibles and embark on a study plan.
5) NO KID TALK!!!
I can think of at least 8 more rules to add, but it is probably best to keep it simple for now. I am sure the list will evolve just as our relationship will mature through the process. Tonight will be the start of our purposeful and nightly dates. I am really excited an hope my hubby will be too. I haven't shared with him my new plan yet, but I have a feeling he will be thrilled! Great ideas happen when I've been up with the kids since 4:00 am. Luckily not both at the same time!
The rest of the week will be devoted to a few of my favorite things and a giveaway or two! Be sure to subscribe to the blog and share with your friends!
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