The Easiest (and cheapest) Date of All

I am going to be honest with you. This revelation is not groundbreaking, creative, or very forward thinking. It is so simple that you might be saying "I already do that every day." If you do, then kudos to you! For those of you in the same spot as me, here we go...

Quality, alone time with my spouse is sometimes the most difficult thing to find. We try to have lunch together every day, but it is difficult to turn off the office drama and talk about things other than work or the kids. On the nights that he has rehearsals, we have a rushed dinner at home amidst the craziness I like to refer to as "the witching hour" (more like hours). He is usually out the door about an hour after I get home; leaving me to carry on with my established mommy/kids evening routine.

By the time the kids are fed, bathed, tucked in, kitchen cleaned, toys picked up, and another load or two of the never-ending mountain of laundry washed, I am ready to crash. If I am not completely exhausted, I will indulge in one of the shows I DVRed from 3 weeks ago. Most nights I am so brain dead that I crawl into bed not long after the babes are asleep. My preschooler has the ability to instantly memorize any song she hears and most nights she graces us with a full on hour or two production from the comfort of her bed. Not easy to relax to the sounds of "little bunny foo foo" over the baby monitor.

When dear hubby is home for an evening, we are able to divide and conquer. We try to throw in family game night for a little fun quality time. Nothing like a rousing round of Hi Ho Cherry-O or Candyland right before bed. Actually, in all honesty, we love playing games with the munchkin. After the kids are down, we commonly find ourselves stuck in our individual ruts. By the time we finally remember we are both home, I'm already half asleep or 3/4 of the way through a show that I don't want to turn off. So I have decided to implement date nights every night.

Instead of focusing on chores, emails or the unending fun of bill paying, we will have a date. Just sitting down each night for a little uninterrupted spouse time. On nights where we have done this, I am able to deepen my connection with my spouse and learn new things about each other and our relationship. After 8.5 years of marriage it is safe to say that we have changed quite a bit as a couple, individuals, and as parents. We are long overdue to further explore these new aspects of ourselves.

Knowing our tendency to forget about the importance of these dates, I've decided to set a few rules. They are common sense so don't expect anything wild!
 
1) Date night EVERY night. Ideally, our date will be at least 30 minutes.
2) If things have been unusually crazy and we are short on time, we can do chores together instead of our normal division of labor. We will still carve out a few minutes of together time.
3) Read and discuss a book together. In all of our years of being together, we have never done this.
4) Read our Bibles and embark on a study plan.
5) NO KID TALK!!!

I can think of at least 8 more rules to add, but it is probably best to keep it simple for now. I am sure the list will evolve just as our relationship will mature through the process. Tonight will be the start of our purposeful and nightly dates. I am really excited an hope my hubby will be too. I haven't shared with him my new plan yet, but I have a feeling he will be thrilled! Great ideas happen when I've been up with the kids since 4:00 am. Luckily not both at the same time!

The rest of the week will be devoted to a few of my favorite things and a giveaway or two! Be sure to subscribe to the blog and share with your friends!

A Love Affair

I am absolutely in love. This little love affair of mine might cause just a tad bit of trouble for my other half. But before you get in too much of a tizzy, let me clue you in on my little secret. I am in love with the Groupon and Living Social websites/smartphone apps. If you have never heard of these websites then I will apologize right now as you might soon become addicted to their deals. Instead of continuing to read this post, open a new browser, visit these sites, and sign-up for their daily deals. These sites will offer deeply discounted coupons to restaurants, movie theaters, various classes, trips, museums, gift cards to major online sites, at super affordable prices.

I am a girl who can't pass up a great deal, but I am also lazy.  I just don't have the time to search out the deals, clip coupons (much less remember to actually use them…I’m the mom that rips open a package of goldfish while grocery shopping to keep the kids from screaming), or search our nearby cities to find new and unique entertainment. I’ve heard stories of how some can “coupon” so well that they actually make money. If this is you and you would like to try your hand at blogging, let me know. You could be my first guest blogger. My husband would love you if I could start saving money instead of spending it!

The Groupon and Living Social sites are how I’ve added some spice to my life. Initially, I purchased deals to entertain my daughter over the weekend. My spouse has quite a few evening and weekend obligations, so I try to get creative when planning activities for the kids. After a few successful purchases, I started noticing intriguing adult activities. I thought what a great alternative to our traditional dinner date. For us it means venturing out to the nearby cities, but an hour drive is worth the time to deepen the relationship with my hubby. Plus, it gives us the opportunity to talk without interruption. This is a great luxury when you have a 3-year old! Imagine talking about politics, books, or the future instead of your child’s recent re-enactment of last night’s Fresh Beat Band episode.

Here are a few examples of some of my recent purchases: 

Coco Flow (http://cocoflow.com/) I purchased two classes for super cheap. We will learn the history of chocolate, make our own truffles, and indulge in some decadent desserts. Who doesn't love chocolate?!

Wine and Canvas ( http://www.wineandcanvas.com) I am so excited for this event! Mind you, I cannot paint or draw to save my life. Maybe I have some potential seeing as how I did have a pen and ink drawing displayed at the local library…when I was in 4^th grade.  If all else fails and my artistic creation looks like a puddled mess of paint on canvas, at least I have tried something new and enjoyed a glass of wine (or 2 or 3).

I also keep my eye on deals for different cities. It helps me learn about potential vacation spots for whenever my husband and I ACTUALLY take a much needed adults only trip. For fear of losing your respect, I won’t even tell you how long that has been. I’m still trying to convince him that these deals I keep purchasing aren’t frivolous, but his sense of adventure hasn’t quite matched up with mine. In fact, a friend of mine and I bought our Wine and Canvas events together. It will be a “no boys allowed” adventure. Either way (hubby or friends), I’m adding some much needed “me time” to my life and trying out something that has the potential to become a new hobby. I hope that you will check it out for yourself and share your purchases/upcoming adventures here.

I’m going to end with a shameless self-plug. If you enjoy reading, please take a minute or two to click the FOLLOW link. In the upcoming weeks, I’ll be sponsoring a few exciting giveaways, and you will need to be a current follower for the best chances at winning. I promise it will be good!

$5 Date Night

Okay…so $5 might be a bit of a stretch. The whole idea is to get creative and appreciate the power of the often elusive date night. After the birth of my daughter, I was absolutely terrible at making time for myself much less our marriage. I became a 24/7 mom. You might be thinking “aren’t you always a parent?” Of course this is true, the point being I was afraid of trying to be anything or anyone else. I thought that if I spent more than an hour or two away from my tiny, helpless, pink bundle of joy that our mother-daughter bond would suffer. Little did I know that it was I who would suffer.  After about 8 months (and this is a very generous estimate), I realized that if I continued down this road I would be teaching my little girl dependence not the independence.

I digress…more about mommy guilt, parenting and independence later. Today I am focusing on the sanctity of the much needed and often underappreciated DATE NIGHT!  Even though the thought of leaving your babies with someone else might be absolutely terrifying…do it! Enlist the support of fellow parents, a friend who loves kids, or steal that perfect sitter away from your neighbors. Make sure you tip her/him well! The extra money spent is well worth the happiness of your kids and the potential to come home to a house that is might be a little less messy than when you left. (Side note…if you are looking for the perfect new mom gift, offer to clean her house. She will love you forever!)

My husband and I are working very hard to incorporate date night into our weekly habits, but this is such a challenge for us. Not because we don’t want to spend time together, but it is just so hard to find a few hours when we aren’t exhausted, are actually both at home, or the kids aren’t crazy! Most of the time this happens at the last minute, and we are frantically trying to hunt down one of the babysitters we trust to watch our kids. We only have a handful but they are awesome! If you live in my town, bring me baked goods or gifts of wine, and I might just share their numbers with you.

Most of the time, we enjoy a dinner out sans kids menus, temper tantrums, milk spills, or our daughter standing in her chair singing her most recent arrangement of songs (the child NEVER stops singing). If you are ever in need of some free, weeknight entertainment just stop by our house at dinner time. This should probably be required if you are thinking about having kids anytime in the near future.

 In our relatively small town, there are only so many restaurants to frequent or other interesting things to do. Hence we created the $5 challenge. After one lovely dinner out, we weren’t quite ready to head home and face reality. We were both secretly hoping that even though we had said we would be home before the kids needed to go down for bed that they would actually be so tired from all of the fun that they would pass out early. Rule number 1 of date night…never expect your kids to be asleep when you get home! Even when you get home hours past their bedtime, they will wake up moments after the babysitter leaves. Back to the challenge…being the witty and clever woman I am, I jokingly said to my hubby “Let’s go to Walgreens and with only $5 pick out a meaningful gift for each other.” To my surprise, he agreed and 15 minutes later we were exchanging our “gifts” in the car. Normally I would share more details of our gift exchange, but I promised my husband that I wouldn’t embarrass him too much on my blog. We ended up having a blast and shared quite a few laughs. I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of our date night challenges.

So this is where I need you! Comment below with your own version of the $5 challenge.  I’m (almost) always up for a new adventure. I’d love to try out a few of your ideas. This post has already gotten a little longer than I intended so tomorrow…well really later this week…I’ll finish up with a few more creative date night excursions!

Getting Started

At some point, I got stuck doing life instead of living life. Don't get me wrong, I try to take time to enjoy the many blessed moments of each day but let's face it...being a mom is HARD! These little bundles of joy don't come with an owner's manual, the option to reset, or better yet…a pause button. It becomes a challenge to remember who you were B.K. (before kids) much less figuring out the kind of woman and mom you want to be. So I have decided to take the time to learn about me, put myself in time out every once in a while, and share the ups and downs of this wonderful journey called life (cliché, I know).

So you are probably wondering who is this crazy woman and why does she think she has anything to offer me. I’m a 30 year old (agh!) mother of two adorable but also sometimes trying kids. My daughter is 3, my baby boy is 8 months, and I’ve been happily (albeit we have our share of arguments…who doesn’t) married for almost 8 years. I spend my days working on a university campus surrounded by college students and my nights and weekends at my never-ending job called parenthood. I was a failure at the whole stay-at-home mom thing (tried for 9 months) and absolutely admire and envy those moms who make it look like a breeze. I’ve had my successes and failures and want to share it all. Sometimes as moms we are afraid to discuss the difficult for fear that we will be judged by other moms. This leaves such a void and lack of support during a time when we need it the most.

I do hope that my sharing helps fill a blogosphere niche. This won't be a blog about what I ate for dinner, how many times the Little Professor (my sweet baby boy) rolled over or how many tantrums my pre-schooler can throw in day, but instead how I am choosing to LIVE life. We will talk about topics that we just don’t always see in the mainstream our outside of the “mommyboards” you may have joined. Along the way I'll share tips and tricks to make mommyhood just a little easier. Of course, I HAVE to share my favorite products and indulgences. I promise to throw in a few funny yet awfully embarrassing stories that should brighten those gray, "I want to sell my kids and go back to bed" kind of days. Sometimes I will share my spiritual walk and also talk about those same struggles. On others, I will post on topics that I scoured the internet for during my pregnancies (like exercise), cloth diapering, the joys (and struggles) of breastfeeding, infantile glaucoma (my daughter’s struggle), exercise, quick and easy family recipes, etc. If there is a topic you want covered, just let me know. Ultimately my goal is to build this great network of moms, guest bloggers, and support.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me!